Archive for the ‘self help’ Category
July 29th, 2010 | 
Author: 
Shirley Perkins talk on self-help books
Avoiding the abyss of the E-mail wars
It’s hard to be a poet of renown.
To be respected by most of your peers
if some compare your writings to a clown
and question just what lays between your ears.
What if they fail to see beyond the face?
The one you show the public, not the real.
Can you cast blame on what your critic says
if what you hide is hiding what you feel?
Perhaps the mask of mirth has had its day
and now the time for grit and gore has come.
So long, the Merry, Merry Month of May.
Skip straight on to December’s wintry drum.
Misunderstandings may transcend the edit.
It’s not what you have said; it’s how they read it?
A few years ago, I started self harming. I still have the scars on my arm. A friend helped me to get passed this. When I met my now-husband, he helped me too by supporting and just loving me. This was all I needed to help recover and stop doing it.
It’s been 4 years from the last time I did it. Recently, I have been going through a rough patch. I have PCOS so I am finding it difficult to conceive. My husband’s family is putting on a lot of pressure about other things too. They expect me to do things that make them happy but not me. I still do it for them and go out of my way to make everyone happy but at the moment, I don’t feel appreciated or loved. I still get ‘you are being difficult’ or ‘you haven’t done anything for me’ comments.
My husband is wonderful. But he can’t help me cos he doesn’t know how too. I try not to involve him in anything cos I don’t want to stress him. It’s his family so I don’t want to put him in a difficult situation.
I am so unhappy and just feel like crying all the time. But it’s not helping. Yesterday, I felt like cutting myself again. The urge was so overwhelming. I had the razor in my hand but then I stopped. I don’t know why.. But today I want to do it. Self harming makes me feel good, it’s a way I can vent my feelings out without hurting anyone else. But deep down, I know it’s wrong. I hate the scars that it left last time so don’t understand why I want to do it again. My husband knows deep down that I am not happy but he doesn’t know about the self harming bit. I have no one to talk too. My family won’t understand and my friend isn’t around anymore.
Please advise.. What can I do? I feel very lonely and depressed..
First of all, I think that you should start talking to someone-whether it be a psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, etc. These are major issues that you just simply cannot work out on your own while you have so many people around you who are putting you down-either consciously or subconsciously. You should definitely get things under control again before you conceive. So many stresses can negatively affect you and your baby and may increase your risk of complications or miscarriages.
Secondly, I think that you should start taking AT LEAST one day a month and have a "ME" day. Just go out and do things that you enjoy. It could be anything from walking/shopping at the mall, taking a walk in the park, to just staying at home pampering yourself. Paying a little more attention to yourself can help tremendously. You can’t please everyone all the time, so why not take some time out trying to please/pamper yourself?
Thirdly, you should stand up right now and give your self a hand. You deserve it for being able to stop self-injuring the first time. Many people, like myself, struggle with it no matter what we do and we are not so successful. If you quit the first time, you can quit this second time, and when the next urge comes, you can beat that too! Even though your husband doesn’t know exactly what to do to help you, he’s still part of your "personal support group." Having a support group really helps a lot of people because then you KNOW that you are NOT alone in your struggles. If you have no one else to confide in, or don’t feel comfortable enough to confide in others, try joining an online support group. These groups are there for you 24/7 and know exactly what you are going through. The other nice thing is, it’s anonymous if you want it to be and you don’t have to worry about judgment.
While you are deciding how to form your support group, try finding an alternative to self-harm. You can try anything from snapping a rubber band, to shoving your hand in a bag of ice, hugging a tree, drawing a red line with a marker where you want to harm yourself, etc. You have to find the right one that works for you. Personally, I put the self-harm off for 10 minutes, and if I still feel like going through with it after 10 minutes, I put it off for another 10 minutes, and so on and so forth until I no longer wish to cause myself harm.
As far as your scars go…they may seem ugly or unsettling to you now, but each one tells its own story. If you’re like me, you can’t remember what each scar is for, but the ones that occurred when you’ve felt the worst or the strongest emotions while self-harming are still fresh in your memory. One day, when you have learned more efficient ways of channeling your emotions, I hope that you are able to look at your scars and remember those times to learn from them…to never let yourself become that low again…Those scars are a part of you, just like mine are a part of me. I am now at a point in my life where I am no longer ashamed of my scars. I choose to show them and talk about them. I want others to know about self-harm so that there is no longer this hushed stigma about it. I hope that you reach this point in the future.
Please take my advice and talk to somebody…and please take some more time out of your schedule for yourself. You can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t try. It’s just so tiring and you can’t keep it up for long periods of time. I hope that you have found at least some of this information helpful.
Take gentle care…
‘Just when the medical profession had given up on me and I on it, just when I seemed to be walled up in a life sentence of chronic pain, someone proposed a bizarre way out: sit still, they said, and breathe…’
Teach Us to Sit Still is the visceral, thought-provoking and improbably entertaining story of Tim Parks’ quest to overcome ill health. Bedeviled by a crippling condition which nobody can explain or relieve, he confronts hard truths about the relationship between the mind and the body, the hectic modern world and his life as a writer.
Most of us will fall ill at some point; few will describe that journey with the same verve, insight and radiant intelligence as Tim Parks.
Duration : 0:4:54
Posted in self help | 
Tags: books, Harvill Secker, reading, Teach Us to Sit Still, Tim Parks | 
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hey guys so i put self tan spray on and it came out awful how do i remove it by tomorrow or wed?!??! Thanks
Jump in a shower, now, that should remove *some*
Then set about exfoliating, if you dont have exfoliator just use sea salt
Nailpolish remover can help with bad bits, but if you have sensitive skin, it could nip slightly, just remember to rinse off the nailpolish remover after.
If you own the neutrogena wave, it gets away more as it really buffs away the skin.
Then you should moisturise, like LOADS. Use oil if you have no inexpensive moisturiser, as you just need loads, it makes the tan less noticeable. Also moving between exfoliating and moisturising makes it easier on your skin.
Heres a few websites with tips too, one says lemon juice, it really depends on which tan you’ve used.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Question120176.html
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Question119028.html
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=85601
http://www.toptips.com/tip/how_to_remove_fake_tan_/19261/
GOOD LUCK x